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The Rumours of Wild Particle’s Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated.

Did you think I had abandoned you Dear Reader? Not Non. Nyet. It was merely a prolonged absence over the festive season.

But did I really need to stay away so long? Could I have not managed an occasional post? After all, was I Christmas-ing in some god-forsaken remote hinterland with no internets to be found?

Well, no – I wasn’t. So please accept my apologies. There, I said it. I was wrong. I was wrong to leave you and I’m sorry. It was entirely my fault. It’s not you it’s me. I’ll try to do better next time.

Things just got away from me; the getting ready for the long trip home to the family mansion, the trip itself, all the eating, the giving and receiving of presents. Then the intense costuming preparation for Steampunk New Year Celebrations, followed by the recovery from said Steampunk New Year Celebrations…

Things like this distracted me.

How am I supposed to concentrate when Santa is leaving things like this in my stocking?

After all, it NEVER WEARS OUT.

Post-Apocalypse, Earth’s inevitable robot successors will be wielding these things in their endless territorial wars.

I doubt the authenticity of their “300 Shots Per Potato” claim, though. How did they work that out?  There is obviously some kind of International Standard Potato Sizing Bureau whose existence has been hitherto unknown to me.

I am particularly drawn to the beatific countenances of the children playing with this vegetable-fuel ballistic marvel. They look like little Bodhisattvas, achieving profound Enlightenment from their prolonged use of novelty weapons. And why not I say.

Anyway, I am back. You are back, Dear Reader and all is forgiven I hope. Here is to a great year together!

And remember…

KEEP YOUR POTATO GUN CLEAN AND IT WILL GIVE YOU YEARS OF SERVICE.

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Post-Postage Post

I did it. Pictured below is Theo for number 11 and I think he was definitely the best thing in the package. It was hard to part with him actually.

I couldn’t find the raw cane sugar single serve packet so I made a custom Kane-from-Command & Conquer version.

The whole competition entry consumed a surprising amount of time. But it was great.

And just think how many hours FORTY COMPUTER GAMES could eat up? I do so hope I win. It felt like a bit of an anti-climax sending off all the stuff knowing I probably won’t hear a peep from the magazine. Ah well. I did my very best, this I know to be true.

Also – I now have practice extracting myself from a Public Meeting at a Jehova’s Witness Kingdom Hall. Who knows when that might come in handy?At one stage I didn’t think they were going to let me get through the door without leaving my contact details. They were very nice though. As was the man at the post office. I think he thought I was a bit weird, but that’s just because I freaked out at the last minute and had to re-open the package, and put a number label on a a tiny plastic spoon.

I labelled all the objects and included a legend.

And this is the answer to the question at 12 in case you have a burning need to know…